Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize