Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize