She's JV to your varsity
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize