Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I can text with my tongue
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
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You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
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It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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