so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
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I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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