Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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