i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize