she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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