I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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