Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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