I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize