so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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