cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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