I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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