Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize