Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize