What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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