The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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