S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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