marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
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I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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