Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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