Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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