I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
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We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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