He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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