"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
vagina is talking i cant
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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