So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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