I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
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we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
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Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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