i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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