If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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