would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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