You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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