she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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