I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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