seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
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So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
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If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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