How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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