After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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