Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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