But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize