Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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