it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize