You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize