thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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