So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize