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  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 9:21pm

    Of COURSE there's poo in her butt, were you expecting roses in there or something?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 9:34pm

    should have jacked off into her ice cube tray

    • Submitted by norml420 on Apr 24, 10 at 8:26am

      i like this one ^^

    • Submitted by instantaxess on Jul 9, 11 at 2:51am

      BadMitch always jerks off into the ice tray, www.badmitch.com

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 9:12pm

    oh my god someone had poo in their butt!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 9:15pm

    Given that this happened in Boulder, I'm gonna go ahead and guess that this is a very true story. hahaha

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 12:09am

    i agree... if you stick your finger in someones ass and aren't grossed out just by the fact that you stuck your finger in their ass, you deserve to be poo'd on.

    • Submitted by shwadinger on Feb 26, 10 at 12:31am

      are you 12

    • Submitted by slimshady1212 on Oct 16, 11 at 11:47pm

      yeah, you don't understand do you?

      • Submitted by shaylee413 on Nov 13, 11 at 9:37pm

        So it's now immature to think you shouldn't stick your finger in someone's ass? Let me put that into perspective... the only people who would do that are either 18 month old babies who don't know better, or homosexuals. Which one are you? Ahh, that's right....closet case right there.

        • Submitted by justicecupcakes on Aug 23, 12 at 3:22am

          What's an 18 month old baby doing sticking it's finger in someone's arse? How does someone let that happen?

          • 89 72
            Submitted by Sgt_Ginger on Oct 22, 12 at 12:54pm

            To be extremely entertained, that's why

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 10, 09 at 4:11pm

    rule of thumb: if a girl tells you she's classy, she isn't.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 9:23pm

    I agree with 9:22. You probably have aids. And every other STD in history. Including some known previously only in monkies.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 10:17pm

    Can we all focus on what's important here?? Some one needs to locate and sterilize both of these gems.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 10:36pm

    I thought that is where poo belonged. I would say its your fault for sticking your finger there in the first place

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 11:16am

    Ok, 571 is Boulder VIRGINIA, 303 & 720 are Boulder COLORADO. One is in the sketchy, hick south, the other is voted the best place/the smartest place/the sexiest place/the fittest place to live by magazines such as Forbes and Newsweek. Classy in Boulder CO means $2Billion+. Classy in Boulder VA means 200+.

    • Submitted by mk5317 on Aug 3, 10 at 9:23am

      having class isnt all about money you shallow pos

      • Submitted by 0hSnap on Aug 15, 10 at 5:40pm

        Ya, It's about having Swine Flu while sleeping on a peed on mattress in a Heroine addicts house... chalk one up for Virginia...

    • Submitted by mz_baer on Aug 15, 11 at 2:24pm

      thank god i live in CO!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 9:36pm

    Wow. Your standards must be exceedingly low.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 9:17pm

    Wait, THATS MY MOM!!!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 9:14pm

    apparently some guys have no standards... wondering why you stayed in the first place, and if you even really wanted to leave. musta been fukkin desperate.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 9:59pm

    9:45 why is it lame that someone condensed multiple texts into one tfln?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 2:02am

    if she was that disgusting, why would you have spent the entire night with her? and yeah, definitely wouldn't enjoy a finger shoved up my ass so if anyone ever does try it I hope there is poo so they won't do it ever again.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 2:37am

    Why in the hell would you stick your finger up a one night stands butt? Diiiirty!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 1:51am

    boulder, colorado is the shit. just saying. :)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 9:15pm

    how did you know it was a heroin mattress? it coulda just been a cum stained..

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 09 at 10:39am

    you stick a finger in her butt and don't expect poo to be in there? now us girls have to make sure our butts are unnaturally clean as well???? bahahahah

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 1, 09 at 1:18am

    meh..it probably is boulder, co. CU has about 50 cases of suspected swine flu right now, which we all like to blame heavily on the Californians bringing back from the LA area. that'd make the most sense anyhow, seeing as a girl this classy could only be a Californian import.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 9:24pm

    You stayed. Must be your type, your class.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 25, 09 at 8:47am

    why would you put your finger in her butt... In the first place...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 10:20pm

    @9:45 I will never understand why people think that just because a text is long that it is fake. iPhones don't have a text limit, so you're obviously poor & have a crappy phone.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 12:40am

    Wow. Don't put your finger in a girl's ass if you don't want to feel poo. Just sayin'. Plus most girls don't even like that. *shudder*

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 1:05am

    Thank you 11:54, this would NOT happen in Boulder, CO. And all you 3oh!3 idiots...did you read the text? Don't take credit for this bullshit.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 11, 09 at 10:41am

    Everyone dissing Boulder.... It's all the douchebags and skanks from California and Tex-ass that bring the town down! The actual locals are great people.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 2, 09 at 10:39am

    You can type the fucking bible in an iPhone text and it will b one text...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 17, 09 at 12:25am

    Douche bags. 571 is Arlington/Fairfax VA, not Boulder Va, which is about 7 hours away. Boulder, CO is where he is talking about becuase he is some tree hugging hippie out of state college kid that likes to stick his dick in the dirty locals. And you think 571 is a poor area? Check again retard it lies in the one of the richest counties in the US. June 9 11:16 am

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 9:54pm

    if ur phone doesnt suck thatll fit in a text message

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 10, 09 at 2:03pm

    BOULDER! is the best

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 11:44am

    Hey. Don't Mess with Texas-- It's not nice to pick on retards.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 10:38am

    i sleep on a heroin mattress. don't hate.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 1:37am

    there are two t's in BUTT

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 11:43pm

    you're all fucking retards. Eat a dick.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 7, 09 at 2:48pm

    Thanks for this post. You just made me feel a lot better about myself as a person.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 1:03am

    Boulder ain't that bad. shaddup everyone. if you're not from Colorado shut your dick.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 12:58am

    That's what you get for living in Boulder

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 10:57am

    June 8, 2009 9:34PM must also be from Boulder. LoL

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 10:20pm

    Dear 3OH!3 You are obviously not from CO...so stop referencing our shitty band. And dear God...this might be the same girl my friend found...if so...you need to get tested ASAP

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 12:55am

    Sounds like my ex. Fuck her face

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 12:57am

    omfg this is an awful thing to happen even more awful it's 571

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 4:08am

    too bad it is Boulder, VIRGINIA.... google it!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 6:57pm

    It's scary that some of you have the right to vote. They should make you take a test first. Raising children and voting, two of our most important responsibilities, yet any dumb ass can do it.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 11:21pm

    I hope Texas secedes. Everyone wins. They don't have to deal with "Yankee bitches" and we don't have to deal with...well, we all know what Texans are like.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 6:19pm

    This is why Fort Collins is far better than Boulder

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 10, 09 at 1:45pm

    there is no such thing as Boulder, Virginia retards. This person obviously is from VIRGINIA and goes to school in COLORADO. people go to school out of state. it does happen. this is not rocket science. jesus.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 22, 09 at 1:39pm

    june 20, 2:37 i love you.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 11:41pm

    Not all Boulder girls are that "classy"... LOL I'm proud to say I am nothing like that -- she sounds awful.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 2:47am

    that is hysterical...no joke.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 8:20pm

    10:01 here, just wanted to let the Texas guy know that Colorado isn't really Yankee. They had almost no involvement in the Civil War. Also, Texas is a shithole full of arrogant douchebags.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 2:04am

    you guys are made for each other

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 16, 09 at 3:18pm

    Fuck em up fuck em up go CU!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 2, 09 at 12:25am

    HAHAAH HILARIOUS...SOOME PEOPLE ARE FUCKING PATHETIC

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 10, 09 at 4:17am

    To all the people saying "of course you felt poo, you stuck your finger in her ass" ... shit is usually stored higher in the intestine than a finger can reach until it's time to take a dump. Just sayin'.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 3:49am

    there is something called 'standards'... u don't have them boulder is NOT that bad... if you attract sick nasty people you can attract them anywhere and fuck all of you people saying 'what i hear about boulder...' grow the fuck up

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 10:01pm

    9:53: This is Boulder, Virginia, and cut that 3oh!3 bullshit out. It's embarrassing.Shit, what are we, Texas?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 10, 09 at 1:15am

    why is everybody still talking about boulder, CO? havent we established like 8 times now that this is about boulder, VA? jesus christ.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 1:02pm

    You invented a text to get on texts from last night and the content of the text makes you look like a desperate loser. Fantastic.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 12:46am

    no one is from boulder in boulder...CU is just amazing so everyone out of town and state go there...their are at most like 100 kids actually from boulder so stop hating!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 26, 09 at 9:28pm

    the fact that you stayed after seeing the mattress on the living room floor is stupid but you stayed until 10am. you must've liked the shit on your finger.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 11:37pm

    This text is effing disgusting.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 3:32pm

    thats a long text message...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 18, 10 at 9:58am

    I think the worst part is your lack of skill in the spelling department

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 2:48am

    1:43 youre just a bitter ass....everyone knows texas is the best

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 9:29pm

    there is way too much going on in this text, i had to read it about ten times and i still don't understand what happened.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 11:48pm

    11:16 there are some nasty skank bitches in boulder trust me i lived there. shut your stupid mouth not everyone in boulder is rich

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 11:06pm

    ahhhh boulder bitches what more can i say?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 10:55am

    June 8, 2009 9:34PM the first one must be from Boulder!! LoL

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 5, 09 at 11:37pm

    Fake. Ever heard of 160 max?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 11:01am

    Texas sucks, Colorado doesn't. Never been to Boulder, so it may or may not suck. The poster is a rockstar who obviously just wanted to get some sleep after these goings on and was awoken by the diseased hag at 7am by her coughing and again at 10am from her pissing the bed. I'm betting he left right then. Stop the hate, this is funny shit.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 19, 09 at 3:26am

    One, I'm an original NOVA girl and I still love Texas. Two, 571 is not Boulder, VA. It's NOVA's cel area code [Fairfax, Prince William yada yada] ... So stop being dumb. And hey, some people like a finger up their butt. Don't hate.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 20, 09 at 2:37pm

    to june 10th 1:29pm. Fucking Idiot! Your what Alan from the Hangover would call a Ritard!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 9:09pm

    happens all to often!!

  • Submitted by Jadarhymes on May 10, 10 at 3:36am

    Oh, shit. guess whos never going to Boulder? This chick. WOW

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 16, 09 at 4:12pm

    LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 9:31am

    You's a punkbitch if you don't know bout boulder

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 10:05pm

    I like a shitty butthole

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 22, 09 at 11:21pm

    I'm from NOVA, and my brother recently moved to Colorado, not Boulder, but not far from it, and every time I read this I question if it could be him and that just makes it a million times more disgusting.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 2, 09 at 8:23pm

    lmao damn boulder is the shit though! u gotta find a girl on pearl st.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 3, 09 at 12:24pm

    hahahahahhaha thats all bad..

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 6:53pm

    So, don't go home with random chicks?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 6:06am

    Why are people arguing about Texas??

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 4, 10 at 2:35am

    Are there lots of sexy men either in or originally from Texas who are well-endowed?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 6, 09 at 8:56am

    Everyone who's saying fuck boulder hasn't been there or has met our fine men and women of law enforcement. Jus playin, they're pigs, every last one.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 13, 09 at 8:46pm

    poo in her butt.......ewwww!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 11:50pm

    stop dissing on boulder its got its nice places and its weird places just like everywhere else

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 4:49pm

    all I have to say is I <3 Boulder. and boulder chicks are NOT like that.........she was probably imported from Cali. Ewww

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 5:02am

    uhhh... 3:49, you clearly have never been to boulder. while there are a lot of hot girls there, there are also a lot of girls who dread their pubes and bathe in patchouli oil.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 4, 10 at 1:36am

    Sounds like boulder to me.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 26, 09 at 8:32pm

    Why the hell would you stay there thriugh all that??

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 29, 09 at 12:21pm

    that's why you don't stick your finger in a girl's butt. It's not made for that. It's made for poo. Stop sticking fingers where they don't belong asshole

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 11, 09 at 4:12pm

    probably my old roommate

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 4:10pm

    someone please tell me that this is not about my roommate.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 2:17am

    was her name Erin? and also. from what i hear about Boulder girls....she sadly probably WAS the classiest in Boulder.

  • Submitted by hentailover on Apr 6, 10 at 1:06pm

    Three words: Go. Get. Checked.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 11:36pm

    everything is bigger/better in Texas!

  • Submitted by SgtSalt on Mar 31, 10 at 6:44am

    That's boulder for you.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 12, 09 at 10:49am

    I'm from boulder and it is the shit. I also happen to be very classy and so do my friends. Every town has the occasional crack whore, don't judge

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 22, 09 at 12:34am

    Sad thing is, she probably IS the classiest girl in Boulder :-/

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 11:45pm

    Uhh I would suggest SEVERAL courses of the strongest antibiotics you can get your hands on sir, and quickly...fugking gross!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 10, 09 at 11:50am

    Thank you, 4:17, I was thinking the same thing. The only way he would've "felt poo" is if she was about 5 seconds away from taking a shit on his chest. Then again, some guys are in to that. You never know.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 11:54pm

    Obviously not the 303. We are much classier here.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 18, 09 at 11:22pm

    You stuck your finger up someone's ass and you are surprised to find poop? Lesson for future reference: The ass is not an extra clit.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 6, 09 at 9:32am

    I'm so sorry for your trajic night.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 12:29am

    This Yankee bitch happens to like Texas, alot!-(HAHA! can't shoot me in text!) But, I am loving m' northlands! ALWAYS!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 10:38pm

    10:01 what is that about texas you yankee bitch

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 9:53pm

    ballarado bitch. 3oh!3

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 4:37pm

    What the hell does "not getting a nut at 5am" mean?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 12, 09 at 10:27pm

    yeah! thanks for dubyuh you bastards!

  • Submitted by _bbycakes on May 29, 10 at 9:38pm

    Even though it's a bad night, still should be shirt worthy.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 9:12am

    there are some fucked up girls in boulder. but if you leave the house from 5=8:30 PM you can catch the right ones- Ones from California. oohhh yeaahh

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 2:03pm

    I've had crazier nights in boulder. Best place in the world.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 10:06pm

    9:45 My phone would be able to fit it in one text message (Palm Centro)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 8:07am

    I know someone who would say this, wow.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 20, 09 at 2:58am

    y did u put ur finga in herr but???

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 30, 09 at 2:51pm

    Awwwww that's fuckd up!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 6:34pm

    hahahahhahahhahahhahahahhahahhahaha I know this girl, she is my girlfriends roomate

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 9:08pm

    you stayed until 10??? damnnnn that's a long night for boulder

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 18, 09 at 11:43pm

    Hahaha 3OH!3 is the beat you'd a punk bitch if you don't know bout boulder, you're girl s a freak cuz that's what I told her

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 6, 09 at 3:29am

    If it wasn't for all the good breweries in boulder, I'd never go

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 27, 09 at 12:55am

    Lmfao @ heroin matress

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 1, 09 at 2:26am

    I live about 20 miles from boulder and I've been there far too often..you got played player..there's no such thing as a classy girl in Boulder.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 1, 09 at 2:52am

    Boulder,co wouldn't exist without texans!! We are the only ones who spend money there. I hope Texas succeeds from the rest of this stupidty.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 10:55am

    FUCK CU!!!!!! Go CSU Rams!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 21, 09 at 3:13pm

    damn dude!! I guess you really needed some lovin if you stayed after 5. Hope you didn't catch the swine flu buddy!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 6:27pm

    WOW. probably the worst night ever. Get tested, in fact, take a bath in lysol.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 17, 09 at 8:30pm

    You gotta love the university of Colorado

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 11:47pm

    NEVER going to Boulder.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 4:31pm

    i know someone with that area code. i hope you're not them, that would be shocking.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 14, 10 at 7:54pm

    Is she like 3????

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 12:38pm

    1:43 you obviously have never been to Texas or know anything about it because you just spit out every stereotype related to it...perhaps we have reasons why we love it so much?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 11:04pm

    her name was johanna

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 9:48pm

    when are people going to realize that boulder only contains dirty hippies?...classy is not even in their vocabulary

    • Submitted by creeemefreeash on Dec 1, 10 at 12:18am

      i live in boulder and there are yuppies everywhere. hippies now drive porsches.

  • Submitted by CherryPoppa on Jun 13, 10 at 4:31am

    She lied.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 10, 09 at 2:59am

    ydi for sticking your finger up her ass. what did you expect to find???

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 8:45am

    if someone can find a boulder, va please post the link...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 12:48am

    Hey hoes what's wrong with Texas??? Number one state always..... Haters!!

  • Submitted by yumiluv on Apr 19, 10 at 12:35pm

    Is this even possible...

  • Submitted by bellicbros on Mar 11, 10 at 4:03am

    I think I know who you're talking about. Was her name Christine Cooley? If so, she's a cunt

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 3, 10 at 3:05am

    Looolooololololololol

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 2:48am

    She probably IS the classiest girl in boulder

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 21, 09 at 9:27pm

    Y the fuck wood u finger her ass hole

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 7, 09 at 12:30pm

    Classy and boulderare never two words I would puttigether. Especially if the girl goes to CU

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 4:37pm

    I think this is about my friend... oh dear

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 12:12am

    Anyone who goes to school in Boulder would understand why this is fucking hilarious. Yes lots of girls on campus are like that. Not all, but lots.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 10:18pm

    haaaa i hope this is real life. and agree with 10:17

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 3, 09 at 3:41pm

    sounds like a night i had in Camas. Good times man, good times.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 1:26am

    anyone who doesn't like texas is obviously living a sub par life. no place like texas.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 10:35pm

    @9:34 bitter much? sounds like someone got dumped for a CALIFORNIA girl!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 30, 09 at 4:13am

    Dude you talk like the person getting the Text should feel sorry for you, when In reality you must be pretty desperate to hang out with a chick like that in the first place, or a junkie yourself.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 29, 09 at 1:36pm

    Thanks for share, but you shouldn't have! LOL

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 1:58pm

    Yeah, I'm from this shit hole called Texas and 1:43 has it right for the most part. I can't wait to move, fuck this place.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 25, 09 at 4:58am

    haha it's like everytime ya leave NoVa you end you back telling your friends a story like this at a bar in DC

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 9:45pm

    That sooo did not fit in a text message. That was probably like 4. Lame.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 9:16pm

    Boulder doesn't exactly scream classy to begin with... so she may have been telling the truth!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 10, 09 at 1:29pm

    You are all fucking retarded!! Look at the g*d damn area code. this isn't Boulder, Colorado. Boulder, Colorado is 303 or 720. It's not CU, it's not 3oh!3, it's Boulder, VIRGINIA. Fuckin' use your heads. That's probably why you aren't at CU. Because you can't decipher the o so confusing numbers in an area code.

  • Submitted by terryt6145 on May 13, 10 at 10:45pm

    Roses really smell like Boooooboooooooo

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 8, 09 at 4:18pm

    I know that whore. I can tell u which hospital sheceorks at if u wanna meet her

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 11, 09 at 2:45am

    Yeah, seriously this is the Virginia Boulder, because the Colorado Boulder is the classiest place I have ever been too

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 10, 09 at 7:54pm

    No such thing as Boulder, VA? You're a retard. Boulder, CO voted as "the sexiest place to live"? WTF???? I fucking hate the people's republic of boulder, co!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 2:14pm

    and this is why i'm not going to boulder

  • Submitted by sasakiakatsuchi on Jul 2, 10 at 7:20pm

    She probably is

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 8:01pm

    He had best not have been talking about Boulder, Colorado. We are a classy group of individuals in this little town, thank you very much (although it's true, the Californians do hoe it up some). And just because Boulder is mentioned doesn't mean quoting 3oh!3 is necessary, thank you very much.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 1, 10 at 11:37am

    Not sure what you were expecting to find in her butt....

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 12, 09 at 9:30am

    I laughed sooo hard at this

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 7, 09 at 1:09am

    hhahahaha well done 2:37

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 3:55am

    how did all of that happen in one night? trashy

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 3, 10 at 2:17am

    Unreal

  • Submitted by GoldenMe on Jan 26, 10 at 2:11pm

    ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww thats what you get for picking up nsty skanks

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 29, 09 at 5:30pm

    I've been to Boulder and by your description I think she may have been accurate saying that she was the classiest girl up there... yikes!!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 09 at 5:03pm

    was her name emily liff hahaha.

  • Submitted by bookeeri on Aug 6, 10 at 1:57am

    Gonnaherpasyphlaids. Congrats.

  • Submitted by chromezombie on Apr 13, 10 at 8:48pm

    You fingered her asshole and didn't think of the possibility that there might actually be feces in there?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 12:13am

    1. - what does that make you?! - and (a very, very little) 2. - what are you doing up that late in Boulder!? (except being skanky with skanky!) What's your name? so, I can tell EVERYONE to stay away!

  • Submitted by zachacola22 on Sep 15, 10 at 6:30pm

    Poo.... In a butt!!! NO FUKIN WAY

  • Submitted by seetheeoceen on Apr 9, 10 at 12:57am

    Hahahah

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 12:31am

    Jesus christ man! You definitely caught something. Probably something old that was thought to be an extinct disease. Not necessarily an STD but something. Scurvy maybe?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 10:46pm

    stop arguing and just agree that this was a horrible night.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 19, 09 at 3:54am

    a herion mattress resembles laying in a full sized ashtray with a bloody condom on my cock and a half eaten cheddar cheese log crammed in my mouth while she beats me with a whiffle ball bat

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 12, 09 at 11:52pm

    Yet she still can indeed qualify as the classiest chick in Boulder.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 9, 09 at 9:45pm

    boulder is the shit. i cant think of anywhere else where you can go hiking and blaze with your friends in the mountains, then get drunk and try to go tube down a class 4 rapids river, all why surrounded by some exceptional babes.

  • Submitted by olivasn on Aug 26, 10 at 1:16am

    Excuse me why would you do that DUDE Exit ONLY WRONG NONONO I can barely work this contraption I'm so appalled what do you expect when you stick you finger in someones bum STUFF COMES OUt It DOESN'T GO IN!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 9, 09 at 5:09pm

    hahaha anal sex is fuckin awkward man. my first time with my boyfriend, my cd of the acacia strain was in the background. but advice for you, maybe...not anything involving a girl's ass? or choose your ladies better....

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 27, 09 at 12:56am

    I'd leave after broken codeemn

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 11:12am

    haha, talk to guiness for "most horribly deblitating diseases gained in one night" award.

  • Submitted by jdisberg on Apr 19, 10 at 12:18am

    Well it is boulder what would you expect? Everyone is fucked up

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 7, 09 at 12:12am

    Timethat fucking sucks

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 15, 09 at 9:52pm

    god i cant stand boulder

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 4:08am

    Dane cook called. Said he wanted his material back. Try writing your own material! PS- Texas is better than any other state. Suck it Yankee bitches!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 8, 09 at 9:33pm

    sick....the part about the poo in her butt...why the fuck was ur finger in there anyways, looking for something besides poo? But yeah...she sounds like a keeper...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:25am

    Figures, it's Boulder.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 1:01am

    I can't believe this made it on here it's really not funny. Sign that it's jumping the shark when something awful like this makes the cut?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 12:09am

    10:36 is right. And this is so not real.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 4:28pm

    what is a heroin mattress?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 7, 09 at 3:48am

    WHY DIDNT YOU LEAVE AFTER 5 !?!??!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 20, 09 at 7:50pm

    1) Eewww, 2) "heroin matress"?, 3) Shut the fuck up with all the geographical warfare; we're all Americans, so shut up.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 12, 09 at 10:25pm

    texas blows, bunch of backwoods confederate retards!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 2, 10 at 11:03am

    Lol what a disgusting hoe

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 8:44pm

    to 9:34: thank you so much, im totally gonna try that

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 10:05pm

    BOVA!!! WHAT UP!!! 3 oh 3

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 11, 10 at 9:33am

    What's a heroin matress?

  • Submitted by vientiane007 on Aug 28, 10 at 10:37pm

    I hope this was a good lesson learned

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 23, 09 at 11:53pm

    Haha that sucks but boulders awesome. But that's nor a boulder area code

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 9, 09 at 10:32am

    Fuck like a rock star! Stick two fingers in her butt! Mmmm.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 24, 09 at 12:03am

    don't judge all girls from boulder because of this one...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 22, 09 at 8:37pm

    10:20.. i didnt know that if u have anything besides an iphone that youre poor? fuck youu

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 1, 09 at 11:35pm

    Why the fuck would you go home with her?!

  • Submitted by popasquatpaul on Aug 12, 10 at 1:58pm

    I was feeling bad for you until I read that she's from boulder you deserve it for being stupid enough to hook up with someone from boulder

  • Submitted by CCF on Feb 23, 10 at 4:17pm

    it must of smelled nice. (her house not his finger)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 2:10pm

    THAT is not the saddest thing about that night.It's that she is not only the classiest lady in Boulder,she's the classiest lady you've ever gone to bed with.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 11, 09 at 5:56am

    that's fucking disgusting

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 9, 09 at 5:47pm

    Boulder...of course, of course. I'm sure by now you know that if a Boulderite says they're "classy" they're being sarcastic. Seriously.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 5, 10 at 5:26pm

    that's what you get for going with a crackehore. duh

  • Submitted by hentailover on Mar 30, 10 at 3:06pm

    Hawt

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 3:32am

    classiest bitch in the trailer park

  • Submitted by UACrew on Oct 18, 10 at 2:10am

    thats disgusting

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 8, 09 at 9:57pm

    this is fake obviously... way too many letters for one text

  • Submitted by saltTHEwound on Jun 30, 10 at 9:26pm

    haha yupp I live in Denver beento boulder many of times this is fucking true lol

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 2:56pm

    courtesy of da (303)

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 16, 09 at 7:23am

    10/12/09 1:52-- shut the fuck up. I live in Texas too and it sucks ass.

  • Submitted by chumpkin on Aug 18, 10 at 4:46am

    Fukn boulder

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:42pm

    I think you may have met a mentally retarded girl who made her way back to some random crack house!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 8, 09 at 7:00pm

    well sounds like it went all well......:/

  • Submitted by darnIT on Jul 6, 10 at 2:54am

    did you notice that the chick you described sounds like a homeless chick? SHIT EVERYWHERE? WHAT THE F**K??

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 8, 09 at 2:57am

    WHy would you stay the fuckin long NO WAYYYYY

  • Submitted by noble_sunny on Nov 26, 10 at 8:24pm

    I love how everyone is focused on the poo :p\nYummm

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 6, 10 at 10:16am

    What is so bad about this?

  • Submitted by ILOVEPINAYS on Jul 9, 10 at 11:09pm

    Hooker on her night off maybe

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 13, 09 at 8:57am

    This happened in Boulder, Colorado?!

  • Submitted by logan93 on Mar 31, 11 at 9:01pm

    That's nasty

  • Submitted by badgebunnyhuny on May 9, 11 at 12:31pm

    I use to live in Rangely and sadly, she probably was the classiest chick in boulder lol!

  • Submitted by 303SouthBoulder on Jan 25, 12 at 6:08pm

    There are not many classy people in Boulder...Trust me i know

  • Submitted by kylegoesboom on Feb 28, 11 at 3:21am

    CLASS-AYYYYYYYY

  • Submitted by LMOAatYOU on Oct 5, 12 at 9:45pm

    Wow I really am LMAOatYOU

  • Submitted by papichulorara on Nov 26, 11 at 5:35am

    My prayers are with you !

  • Submitted by funnyjapan on Jun 23, 11 at 8:45am

    U got played

  • Submitted by himynameisben on Aug 29, 10 at 12:27pm

    that might still be the classiest girl in boulder

  • Submitted by tommytomtom on Jul 21, 10 at 3:03am

    What's a heroin mattress?

  • Submitted by photorobert on May 24, 12 at 9:22pm

    haha I feel no empathy for you

  • Submitted by adam_holding on Feb 19, 11 at 6:18pm

    Firstly, where the fuck is boulder? I dont know every place in america/etc... And here in the great heritage of england, we reserve our fingers for the WOMAN'S vagina.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 12, 09 at 1:40pm

    actually, I like your dedication. Never give up!

  • Submitted by swallows on Jan 8, 12 at 5:33am

    Why did you stay there for at least 5 hours?

  • Submitted by thesteveholt on Apr 7, 12 at 10:17pm

    So thats 80 west then?

  • Submitted by clax11 on Jun 27, 12 at 10:43am

    It's boulder... Classy girls are hard to come by.

  • Submitted by toshaama on Feb 1, 12 at 10:26pm

    What's worse? That your dumb ass stayed with her that long...

  • Submitted by G2LMG2D on Sep 12, 12 at 11:27pm

    Sooo rough..

  • Submitted by robertniles32 on Mar 22, 11 at 5:57pm

    Wow!!!!

  • Submitted by redbone75 on Jan 5, 11 at 9:43pm

    That's the best!

  • Submitted by Sweetchaos96 on Feb 7, 11 at 9:04pm

    why would he enjoy sicking is finger up some chicks ass, that's nasty.

  • Submitted by teenmom15 on Oct 24, 10 at 12:28am

    were u fuckin drunk???????????????

  • 95 86
    Submitted by FiestaEddy on Mar 19, 12 at 5:52pm

    All that went down and you were still there at 10am? Dude, you fell in love you nasty fuck!

  • Submitted by Nostradamus on Sep 19, 11 at 2:42am

    How can you possibly vote thumbs up on this???!!!!

  • 98 97
    Submitted by Maufiro on Feb 4, 12 at 7:40am

    Worst night ever.\nIf there was anything that could scare me away from one night stands, its this.

  • Submitted by stuffedurmom on May 23, 11 at 4:13pm

    That's hot

  • 91 98
    Submitted by haha0624 on Jul 3, 12 at 1:53am

    And you stayed?!?!

  • Submitted by necrotisis on Aug 14, 11 at 10:40pm

    Retard

  • 60 48
    Submitted by uncommitted on May 13, 13 at 9:13pm

    Holy shit....you must have stuck your finger in the wrong hole C;

  • 31 39
    Submitted by saraisrad13 on Sep 7, 13 at 1:02pm

    Omfg. LOL. Amazingly funny.

  • 15 20
    Submitted by jms7216 on Jun 19, 14 at 1:11am

    bahahahaha

  • 29 48
    Submitted by Hold_My_Ball_Bag on Aug 6, 13 at 7:35pm

    I live in boulder, I must find dis bitch