Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
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Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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