You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize