covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
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I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
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So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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