Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
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My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
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I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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