His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize