that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
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She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
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i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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